Getting Ready to Jump!

It’s been a while…and life is about to take an exciting turn…

I’ve been working on prepping my house for sale this week.  Doing what I can in the time after work…spending a couple minutes here and there this weekend.  Trying to get the clutter packed up, given away, or thrown away before I contact a realtor.  I’ll be working on this for the next couple of weeks / months and then put it on the market.

But tomorrow is the day that hits home for me…the official day in my book for this change.  The day of no turning back!  I let my boss know I am leaving the company. 

Have you ever been so excited yet so sad at the same time?  So happy to see God answering some of the prayers that have been on my heart for almost two years, yet realizing that I’m about to walk away from the life I know to start down a new path.  I know that it is just a location, and just a job…but it has been my home and my home away from home for the past seven years.

I decided tonight as I was working on my closet that I would start praying for the family that would inhabit my home.  And pray that just as the job and clothing situation has been worked out (needed professional wear and didn’t want to spend hundreds of dollars), that the housing situtation (where I will live, and how soon my house will sell) would be worked out also.

I think I’ve blogged about it in the past…but I can’t get the quote out of my head…

Going somewhere means leaving somewhere.

Choosing something means choosing against other things.

Gaining something means losing something else.

And between the old and new – the “was” and the “not yet” – there exists only one thing:a very frightening journey called faith.  It is stripped of the usual comforts.  It comes in one color: dark.  It offers one amenity: catharsis.

And perhaps the most significant truth - the one that supersedes my senses, the one that circumvents my obstacles, the one I should be focusing on now – is who makes the journey with me, who ordained it, and who is in the boat.

That was by Margaret Becker, from her book, Coming up for air.  (Great read!!)

So I will make this jump, this change…in the next year, I will be making some of the biggest decisions of my life…and some of the most exciting ones!  I just need to remember that God has gone before me…He is sovereign…and He will hold my hand through this process. 

Thank God for that!    Would love to blog more…but need to start on dinner for me and my sweetie…another one who will hold my hand through the process!  (And a second Thank God!!)

Time passes….and that changes everything!

There have been so many changes since I’ve last been to this site…all good ones, but they are the kind of changes that the stress indicators say are off the charts…

In the past year I’ve (in order of appearance)…gotten a new job, moved, gotten engaged, fiance was diagnosed with lymes, gone through a busy season at a CPA firm, moved now hubby, gotten married, moved myself, watched my sister have her first child, watched my brother get married, dealt with mysterious illness of new hubby (gut feeling…related to lymes attacking immune system), and most recently found out that my sister’s father in law has cancer.  Its been a busy year.  That’s not to mention the fact that my father in law had shingles, the showers attended…my wedding, sister’s baby, brother’s wedding…its been a bit crazy.

So my goal has been to take the crazy down to normal.  And slowly I am getting there.  However, that means I am yet again contemplating change.  I won’t get into the details about this change yet, as I am still in the mulling process.  However, I find the turn of events so funny.  I’ve been praying that the right opportunity would present itself.  And that in particular one option would show up.  I have three options to choose from…three, and a fourth is possibly on its way.  God sure does have a funny sense of humor at times.  I’ll be taking the next two weeks to determine what is the best option on the table, and where to go from here.

God…guide my thoughts and my steps.  Give me wisdom to make a choice that puts my priorities (you, hubby, family) in the right order.  Help me not be dazzled by the things that we so often deem important here on earth.  Bless this process, and give me peace that reminds me  no matter what we decide…You control all situations, and will use this next phase of my life to glorify you, no matter how long or short it is…Amen

What will you do?

For life?  For love?

I’ve spent the evening watching the Hope for Haiti telethon.  I’ve spent time researching different places to donate some monies for the relief effort.

But I will say, watching the show tonight has reminded me how precious life really is…how determined people are to save their own life as well as the life of their own family members.  It really is a matter of fighting for what matters.

Let’s face it, life can be a downer at times.  We are faced with disappointments all day…from hearing about the status of the economy, the state of our world, dealing with the drama at work, possibly even the drama of our own family members.

We so easily forget that life is worth the fight.  To make a difference wherever you are planted, in whatever way you can.  To influence those around you…to remind those you love how special they are to you.

In the end…this life is really not about you or me.   We need to think less about ourselves, and how we feel (we really are too selfish)…and instead remember how incredibly blessed we really are.  To have loved ones (family and friends)…to have a job that pays better than most of the world’s positions…to be able to make a difference.

There were stories tonight about mother’s who dug more than 50 hours to rescue their children, family members who kept going strong for more than 60 hours straight to find their family and make sure they were safe.

What will you do for your own life?  What changes have you wanted to make but haven’t?  How will you step out of your comfort zone for love?  Are you ready to fight for that which is important to you?  Are you willing to sacrifice time, money, pride, appearance, and whatever else could be holding you back from moving forward?  Life is but a vapor…

Please consider giving in order to help the relief effort.  (And possibly sponsoring a child.)

Reflections

A little over five years ago, I hesitantly walked into a skating rink, said hello to a few people I didn’t know, and sat down, waiting for church to begin.  Last month we celebrated five years.  Today, we met to talk about the future.

I got some news last week that disappointed me.  I had hoped that things were changing in ways that I was envisioning in my mind, to no avail.  The one thing that did help was the knowledge that my prayer was if this wasn’t the right door, it shouldn’t even open up.

The future is this vague thing that we try so hard to control.  We follow after our wants and desires, many times praying that they would fall into place, forgetting that we are to pray for God’s will to be done.  There are many questions about the future rolling around in my head these days.  “What is next?” is the big one…the one that really is surrounding the church that I attend, and the one that I ask about my career.

The truth is, it’s not about whether or not I got the job or the promotion or anything like that…but whether or not the dreams that I have will someday come true.  Therein lies the struggle.  Its a matter of trusting in God’s plan and not my own…when it looked like my plan was working out pretty well.

It’s also a matter of remembering where my hope comes from.  Reminders that even if the dreams I have don’t come to pass today, or even by this time next year…or even ever…God is bigger than my hopes, and has ideas that go way beyond my meager dreams.

So, tonight I will head to bed knowing this…in 2009, God proved His faithfulness…through family, friends, and a man I love.  Now, I have to keep on trusting that He will continue that work, even when I can’t see what He is up to…but isn’t that the very definition of faith? 

Welcome to the Christmas Crazies

Gifts are purchased and wrapped…all has been well in that department for about a week…except for some small gifts purchased tonight.

Despite the calm of not having to run around like crazy…the schedule of Christmas seems to be a little nuts.  Figuring out whose family to visit on certain days…(which is actually quite a wonderful challenge to face because I’ve never had to juggle all those concerns)…trying to fit in all the friends in town…basically, trying to please everyone, which is just not possible.

So, instead, I keep on trying to put my focus on a baby come to earth.  On a new mother and father…on the wonder that this child was (and is) the hope for the whole world.

I keep on remembering the blessings of this year.  One dear friend of the family who was diagnosed with a death sentance only to be told about two months ago that they can’t find any traces of cancer.   Another friend who is very much alive after spending two months of being so ill that she coded twice in the ER.  A son of another friend who the doctors think was diagnosed with cancer within 6 weeks of it forming in his body…and he is responding wonderfully to all the treatment.  An immediate family member who has lived with an incurable illness for over 30 years of her life…to be told in the past 6 weeks that they can’t find any traces of this illness in her body.  Miracle after miracle.  Goosebumps…tears…amazement at this big God we serve, that He has shown His fingerprints in this way.

2009 hasn’t been a bed of roses.  It has been filled with grief and frustration at situations that have seemed to be never ending.  And yet…with 8 more days in this year, I wouldn’t have changed a moment of it.  (Still knowing it could still bring a case of the crazies before it is over.)

The blessings haven’t just touched my life through friends and family…there have also been some pretty spectacular ways that God has directly shown His faithfullness to me.  Starting out this year, I felt that I had two promises given to me that would take place before 2009 ended.  One of those two promises has come to pass, a blessing to me that I have waited for…a gift that I never want to take for granted.    The other promise is still in process…and while I don’t want to get my hopes up…I think could very well be fulfilled.

2009 has reminded me that God is never early…but always on time.  That can be pretty frustrating at times, when I’ve been in situations or circumstances that I want out of so much.   Yet…I was even thinking last night how some of the very challenges that I faced this year have helped me grow and learn, and might very well be the circumstances that help the second promise fall into place.

Half day at work tomorrow (with lots to get done!!!)  And then a long weekend, of friends, family, loved ones…lots of food, presents, and laughter.  In the midst of all the activity…I want to dwell on the One who gave me the breath I breathe…the life I live…and the blessings that I want to celebrate.

I wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

Miracles…

A close friend of the family was diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic cancer this past March.  I remember the day that we found out.  My family was actually together, the girls weary from running what was my first half marathon.  I was in shock, dismay, and could only really think of her kids.

You see, they were miracles themselves.  This couple tried for many years to have children, but they were not able to.  Then, came along a little girl, followed by a little boy a few years later.  Now in their teenage years, I couldn’t imagine what it was like to find out that unless God worked a miracle, it was just a matter of time before their mother passed away.

Today, we witnessed another miracle in the family.  After 6 months of treatment, there are no tumors to be found on the liver, and nothing is showing on the pancreas in the scan.  I am sitting here, half in tears, amazed by God’s goodness!!

Thank You, Jesus…for touching my friend’s life…and letting me be a part of watching Your miracle!!

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